Wrestling with Rest May 6, 2009

Food for thought from the Common Grounds blog:

I know that in my own life, this is why the Sabbath is beautiful and yet difficult—because it is really all about trust. It is a weekly reminder and test of where my faith rests. Too often that is a rude awakening. The Sabbath often opens up our hearts and shows us that with our lips we say we believe that God is sovereign—that he loves us, but our lives are often a constant, anxious struggle to secure our own destiny and identity. To cease from our labors is to concede that we are dependent, and to once again realize that much of our paranoia and anxiety is the direct result of the mistaken idea that we can secure our own future if we just work hard enough. Eugene Peterson says it well, “The Sabbath is about God interfering with all the things you think you need to get done, so that you can focus on what he has done.”

Sabbatical August 28, 2008

“A sabbatical (from the Latin sabbaticus, from the Greek sabbatikos, from Hebrew shabbathon, i.e., Sabbath. ) is a rest from work, a hiatus.”

Today, I felt the joy of being on sabbatical.  Let me explain.

It was opening convocation at King and Thomas Lynch was the convocation speaker.  I haven’t officially been in the office the last couple weeks.  Today, I went to campus to convocation and sat in the audience and listened.  Normally, I would have had to process in in my academic regalia, sit on the stage with the other deans and be all official.  I love that usually, but today, it was great just to be me.  No robes, no titles, no roles.  Just me in my jeans and comfy Birkenstocks.

Then I had a couple things I needed to complete before taking off for Europe (I love saying that–sounds so cosmopolitan and worldly).   I took my time and enjoyed talking to people.  I didn’t feel stressed or rushed.  As I was walking out of the library, I saw a student I knew and we chatted about how things were going.  She’s a senior trying to figure out what that next step should be.  It was great just to take time to talk to her for a few minutes without having to go to a meeting or complete and errand or teach a class.  Just be with someone else.

I was reading some definitions and explanations of sabbaticals.  One person said they have such enduring appeal because they allow people time away from their work roles and give people the ability to step outside one of the major “false identifications that I am my job.”  A sabbatical is a chance to be me.  Myself.

Today, I got to be me.

A New Revelation August 3, 2008

I am an infinitely impatient person.  That’s not a new revelation at all, but lately I’m discovering the depth of my impatience.  It always seems God has a way of revealing and stripping away the things that I take pride in.  My patience for example.  People have complimented me on my patience in the past.  I do consider myself to have a fairly high degree of patience with people.  Longsuffering.  A friend of mine calls it my “high tolerance for weird.”

I can be patient at times except when I feel like things that matter most to me are at stake.  A friendship.  A relationship.  A job.  A family member.  Then, everything in me screams.  What I do want?  Certainty.   When do I want it?  Now.  What do I want?  Security.  When do I want it? Now. What do I want?  Rest.  When do I want it?  Now.  I do protest too much.

All my protesting eventually leads me back to the same place it always does eventually.  I come back again to God as my only foundation.  My only hope.  My only true security.  I don’t have answers, but He does.  I don’t know the way the pathway lies.  He does.  I don’t know the end of the story.  He does.  So, again, I come back, surrender my pride and my protests and rest again.  In him.

One day, I’m going to meet the person who has been praying for me to be patient.  I’m going to smack them.  Really hard.

Take It All
words by Mark Lee / music by Third Day

All the promises I’ve broken
All the times I’ve let you down
You’ve forgot them
But still I hold on to the pain that makes me drown
Now I’m ready
To let it go
To give it away

Take it all
‘Cause I can’t take it any longer
All I have, I can’t make it on my own
Take the first, take the last
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have
Take it all

All the roads that lie before me
All the struggles I go through
Every second I’m reminded
That it all belongs to you
Now I’m ready
To let it go
To give it away

Ever since I died to myself
You gave a better life to me
I give you my finest moment
I give you the last breath I breathe

Better Than If I Had Planned It Myself July 25, 2008

A couple years ago my dad helped me move the lilies from the front yard to the back yard.  If I remember correctly I think we were just ready to be done with the project that day and didn’t take time to mark which flowers were what color.  Today, when I walked outside, I happened to notice how the colors were very symmetrical:  yellow/red in the middle, orange on either side, and red on the ends.  I couldn’t have planned that out better if I had taken time to think about it.

It made me think about our lives and how things happen in life.  I often chalk things up to coincidence.  I just happened to go to grad school in South Carolina and just happened to end up at church where a college friend also attended.  Her picture just happened to be in the bulletin on the same day that I visited there (a church of around 600 people).  That church and the teaching and people I met there really influenced my whole perspective on ministry and desire to work in a college setting.

Or I just happened to go on mission trip with my friend Karol to El Salvador.  And just happened to fall in love with a bunch of little kids at the orphanage we visited.  And then I just happened to be attending a church that was looking for missions opportunities and places to partner with in mission which has it has happened is Orphan Helpers.

It reminds me that God is sovereign over every detail of life.  There are no accidents and nothing goes unseen by God. The best things in my life have been the things that have been unplanned and seemed accidental at the time.  Pure coincidence. The last few years have taught me alot about “going with it.”  I like to know what is expected and plan ahead.  But here’s what I’ve learned:  Life is full of surprises and curve balls.  Planning (while important and necessary at times) ahead is way overrated.  And some of the best times are unplanned and unexpected.

Flowers in my backyard

Originally uploaded by jarobers

Like a River Glorious June 20, 2008

Tonight, I was reading my Choosing Rest book and praying through some things that cause me unrest.  This weeks chapters are about dealing with loss and disappointment and finding peace and contentment not in spite of loss, but allowing the things that cause us unrest to be the gateway to God’s peace and rest.

As I was reading, I was listening to Chris Rice’s Living Room Sessions album (my favorite for chilling out and relaxing).  Like a River Glorious started playing.  I looked up the lyrics and read a little about the hymn writer here.  My prayer tonight is that I will experience that glorious river of peace and find God wholly true.

1. Like a river glorious is God’s perfect peace,
   Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
   Perfect, yet it floweth fuller every day,
   Perfect, yet it groweth deeper all the way.
   • Refrain:
     Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
     Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.
2. Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
   Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
   Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
   Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

3.  Every joy or trial falleth from above,

Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;

We may trust Him fully all for us to do;

They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.